Connections & Memories

“I miss my things that are at home; not that I need them. I miss it, for all I have now is their memories. It’s just a feeling; not that I need it.

I miss to see and talk to my neighbours, our small talks, because it was how we cared for each other. I miss my best friend Ida, as we cannot see each other so often.”

Today I visited my mother-in-law, where she recently moved to live in an institution for the elderly, who are not self-suficient anymore.

I was touched by her words and even more so by her emotions. I cannot imagine what it feels like to not be able to live in your own house. It might be distraughting to be aware of your memory slowly fading away, beyond your wish or control.

My own mother is going through the same motion. Your mother or father might be as well. We could add many stories and experiences here, because aging is natural, predictable and inherent to the human condition.

I treat it like that, as a fact that we need to accept and deal with. I don’t tell them when they forget things but just listen to their stories, countless times.

I focus on and celebrate their connection with us and the world, while is still there, and enjoy to listen to their stories, again and again.

There may come a time, or not, when they will not anymore be aware of their reality.

Why think about that?

How do you go through the same experiences?

 

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Sharing sights & insights captured with diverse angles. Ex-corporate, now my own boss. Cycling, hiking, cooking, reading, yoga, writing and photography, are no longer only hobbies listed on my resume. It's what I do when I want.

16 thoughts on “Connections & Memories

    1. It’s very difficult and heartbreaking, Janet. My parents, 91 and 89, are also still living in their own house and in good health. My mother’s memory though is slowly deteriorating but she is very active and positive.
      Thank you for reading and for commenting. It’s been a while since I had visited my own blog, and I missed our interactions. Hope all is well.
      Best, Lucile

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Nice to see a post from you, Lucile! And you bring up good points about aging. My 83-year old father is still in his home, his wife is 12 years younger than him, but his COPD slowly weakens him. My mother has been in a nursing home since 2010, with physical issues and dementia. You are lucky to visit often and sounds like your parents are doing fairly well.

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    1. Nice to see you here, Terri. Hope you’re well.
      These are points that touch many of us and we can learn a lot from each other. Thanks for sharing your parent’s situation. Your father’s limitations with COPD compares to my mother’s lungs fibrosis. That’s indeed a limitation but hopefully not making them suffer.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Truly. I’ve always said that the thing I prize most about myself is my mind. If that goes, then I go, for I’m no longer here. Keep your head up and be thankful for the moments you have. *Hugs*

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  2. I am seeing these changes starting in my parents as well, aged 88 and 86, who are still in their home but making us children more and more nervous every day! They think they are invincible, and maybe that’s a good thing … although it presents its own set of worries in others. I’m sorry you are going through some of the trials of elderly parents, but I admire your outlook and try to have a similar one myself. Glad to see you here!

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    1. Hi Lex, lovely to see you here and read your comment. I totally relate to the reason for nervousness as we experience the same. My father is unstoppable and any advice to slow him down is badly received. I think it’s a good thing because the day yours and my parents would be restricted to do what they want, would feel like a death sentence, says my father. Loss of independence and control can only happen because of natural causes but not driven by family decision. It’s tough but hey, let us allow them to live happily and manage our adrenaline!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve found that it is my collection of things that holds memories of time and places while my photo books retains moments of friends and family. Without them…I fear my memories would fade and loneliness would color what was. Your writing has me wonder if it was cherished memories my mother has given me in the form of objects.

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    1. Hi Brenda – thanks for being here. Your deep reflection is surely heartfelt shared by everyone. Those things and photo books that we have and serve as our memories databank. I wonder how will the future generations do with everything digital. Perhaps robots will help them.
      Food for thoughts.

      Liked by 1 person

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