Contemplation – Week 1

Desley at Musings of a Frequent Flying Scientist just started the challenge Contemplation.

This week’s prompt is:

What is something important that your parents taught you?

There is so much that my parents taught me! Of course they taught me the basic values and morals to guide my behaviors in society, and act with honesty, trust, ethics, integrity, respect, and fairness.

There are lessons though, which remain ingrained in my mind, which I learned from their behavior.

First of all, I was happy that they ‘walked their talk’, as to the values they passed on to their kids. I learned a lot from what I heard about their reputation, from members of our larger family circle, as well as at school, church, and from parents of my friends.

Secondly, I was proud to learn that my parents were admired and praised by all for being hardworking people with admirable work ethics, as well as for their impeccable character and attitudes, always permeated by collectivism, social responsibility, generosity and compassion.

There is also another recipient of valuable lessons, though. The countless arguments I had, mainly with my father when I was a (rebellious) teenager. Invariably, years later, I understood what he was trying to teach me and admitted that he was right.

Saying ‘No’ to me, ever so often in a somewhat authoritarian manner, taught me to never give up or bend to those with power or above me, but be authentic and fight for my ideas and ideals, and be determined to realize them.

So, when having to answer to Desley’s question, besides all that I mentioned above, the most important lesson I learned from my parents, was the value of education. They always asked me to study and take my education seriously, as this was the best way to prepare for life and become someone. What did they mean with that?

  • If I wanted to defend an opinion, a dream, or a plan, be heard and taken seriously, I’d better  prepare with facts and objectivity to defend my thinking. I needed to have not only knowledge but also a respectful and fair attitude towards others.
  • If I wanted independence of thinking and actions, I also needed financial independence. So, I shouldn’t expect anything from life without making a serious effort, and without working hard.
  • If I wanted to live in a society where I am valued, respected and trusted, I’d better go beyond my own interests, and listen to, share, involve others and treat them as I would treat myself.

 

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 If you want to join, here is what she has to say:

“I’ve created a new writing feature / challenge and I hope that you can join me. Please feel free to use the image above as our badge.

Since July 17th, 2015, I have been using the Kikki.K A Sentence a Day Journal. This is a beautiful mindfulness journal which provides one prompt per day, but has space on that page for three years worth of responses. I love the idea of having this with me for three years and each year discovering my response from the previous year and seeing whether I’ve grown, moved forward, stayed strong in my convictions, taken a step back or changed my ideas.

Each week, I’ll choose one of the prompts from that week and share both it and my response with you. I invite you to join me and share your response to the prompt as well, linking back to this post so that I can read your response. Use the tag Contemplation and name your post “Contemplation – Week xx”, corresponding to which week it is. “

 

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Sharing sights & insights captured with diverse angles. Ex-corporate slave, now my own boss. Cycling, hiking, cooking, reading, yoga, writing and photography, are no longer only hobbies listed on my resume. It's what I do, when I want.

28 thoughts on “Contemplation – Week 1

  1. You’ve got your LIKE button back Lucille! What a way to go for the new year!
    However, I’m still dropping into comments. 🙂
    First, I thought, well, I just got through 60s style parenting without being ‘taught’ much… and then i read your last paragraph, and realised…. ‘teachers come in all forms’…..

    my parents did value education, and providing their children with the best quality of food even if even if they had to scrimp and save for it….

    but what is more important that what my parents taught me? What my daughter teaches me. How to be a better parent every day. how to break the pattern. How to know whats right and wrong and release past in-glories.

    and yes, I pass on to her, the great importance of education and I also spend heaps of money on the best quality food, which translates into organic and hormone free whereever and however I can find it.

    i guess i did learn something after all. and i learnt never to lie and to value honesty above all things, because I DID NOT LIKE being lied to constantly as a child, even though they would not have seen it as lying, just as part of the generational child rearing.

    thanks for this thought provoking post Lucille and so great to have you back in blog-land.

    hugs. 🙂

    Like

    1. Hi Debbie, The ‘like’ has been there for a long time due to my need to reblog. WordPress told me I needed to reinstate likes to reblog…
      I loved reading your comment. Thanks for sharing your experience. Your daughter is lucky to have you.
      Very insightful comment, particularly the reference to the generational child rearing. So true. And that’s where understanding is possible, as they all tried to do their best, just as you do now for your daughter.
      People give what they have.
      Heartfelt thanks, Debbie. Always good to have you around.
      Hugs

      Like

      1. Thank you Lucile. Again, your comment means a lot to me.
        It’s hard for people to escape their generational conditioning.
        It’s hard for people to break systemic patterns.
        As you say, people give what they have, and its wonderful to remain grateful for all of that and more.

        I’m very grateful you are back sharing your love and insights with us all.

        … and we do miss you at the Badfish and Chips Cafe. 🙂 x

        Like

  2. Your parents raised an amazing daughter and taught her well. And you have described my relationship with my father perfectly. I saw Desley’s challenge and tweeted it for others to join in the fun. I am still a bit ‘quiet’ these days on the writing front so I am not going to join at this time, but perhaps in the future. I think it is a great idea for those wanting to take up their pen.

    Like

  3. What marvellous advice. You know, I already feel like I know your parents from our conversations and your photos of your dear Dad. And now I am even more impressed, they sound like wonderful, hardworking and truly family-people. I wish we could all get together for a day of family, feasting and laughs! Thank you my dearest for joining me xx.

    Like

  4. Lucile, it is always great to read your writing and reflections. I think the father-daughter relationship is so important and valuable! I just read that he is 88 years (young). My dad will be 80 in July. I imagine your father being tender and kindhearted but giving the tough love that indicates boundaries to teens. Thank goodness for those boundaries. Lovely, as usual, and really so great to see you back!!

    Like

    1. Terri, thank you for your lovely words. It felt good to write again. My brain is getting rusty. Lol
      I think I could write a few long reads about my father. He wasn’t exactly as you described, when I was young, but as he became older, he opened ore his heart and softened his approach, allowing himself to express his affections more freely. Fortunately! It was good for him and his family.
      Your dad is also a young man! 😀 and I’m sure he’s a fantastic person as apples don’t fall far from trees.
      I’m trying my best to be back but I’m failing…sorry for my absence.
      Have a beautiful Sunday.

      Liked by 1 person

          1. You and I don’t try to monetize our blogs, so posting twice a week still seems to work for me. Seems like you were posting 4-5 times per week for a while, as was I. You have a great following of loyal readers and 1-2 times a week would still keep readers coming back.

            Like

            1. All true. Very precise description.
              I’m just in need of time to read other blogs as well. I’m signing up for email notifications, so that I can get them and read on the go. Going to the reader is not practical.
              Thanks a lot for your thoughts.
              Have a lovely week.
              Lucile x

              Liked by 1 person

  5. Lucile…this line hit hard: “be authentic and fight for my ideas and ideals, and be determined to realize them.” I don’t think I got that from my parents. Certainly not when they said “no.” But I love this whole piece of writing. It’s so…hmmmm….Lucile-ish. So authentic. So natural. True in spirit.
    I wondered where you were…don’t think I saw your notification when posted?? Or missed it with all the other unanswered emails? It’s good to have you back in blogville, woman. I like the photo, too, but don’t we think it needs a bridge?

    Like

    1. Hello dearest Badfish. I think that you didn’t need to get this from your parents, as you were born already as a free spirit. Free is free, and what parents’ ‘no’ may trigger, is a chain reaction, catalyzing the birth of the character, personality, etc, that was already there.
      Maybe we just come back to the old and tried talk of ‘fight-flight-freeze’, as people will react very uniquely to the same situation.
      But ok, I’m kind of back. Still with irregular posts. Will end up being expelled from blog land by my followers.
      Am I allowed to post bridges again?
      Thank you so much for your heartwarming words. Have missed you. Hugs.

      Like

      1. I think I just clicked on the link you had. The page wanted me to sign up for a Yahoo account. After I filled all that out, it kept saying I wasn’t putting in the right code at the end (that let’s them know I’mnot a computer).

        Like

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