I had once a safe roof
Where faceless barbarians, bombed my land
I trusted smugglers, selling a dreamland
Having no way, to ask for proof
Fighting for life, I found a way
Caring for nothing, I ran away
Trusting the dinghy, found a safe shore
Walking for miles, I felt so sore
I crossed fences; I needed a chance
Not expecting to find mischance
Am I a prisoner?
Or a war survivor?
I left my motherland but
motherland didn’t leave me
I’m running away from my dreamland and
my dreamland is running away from me
Fear kicks in hate
Hate kicks in fear
Humanity breaks into silence
Silence is breaking humanity
Fear kicks in hate
Hate kicks in fear
Human sense is long gone
I long for humans to make sense
I joined Writing 201: Poetry.
Today’s assignment from Ben Huberman: The word prompt is Faces. For those ready to make their lives a bit more complicated (but also more rewarding, perhaps?), we’ll explore found poetry, a collage-like form of poetic writing, as well as one of my favorite poetic devices, the challenging (but not overly challenging) chiasmus.
For the Found Poetry I took 10 words from ten pages of a book and ended with these:
Expected. Blurry. Life. Roof. Running. Careful. Kicked in. Going. Into. Broken.
They made me think of the current refugees crisis in Europe. I wrote as if I was one of them.
You got chiasmus down!! That was good..Somewhat reminding me of the terrible situation many refugee’s face in the middle-east these days…
Good read:)
LikeLike
Thank you so much! Really appreciate you took the time to read and comment.
It is about them in the Middle East.
LikeLike
Your welcome.Oh okay.it’s really noble of you to write and spread the word of their misery!
LikeLike
Thank you!! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 🙂
LikeLike
I don’t know this form, but happy it has been introduced. You did a lovely job sharing your view of the middle wast and what they are going through.
LikeLike
Thank you so much. I am learning poetry so I didn’t know either until today. Happy you liked it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You did get the chiasmus down! Nice poem you have there. I’ve tried a few times to write about the refugee crisis—it’s hard to do without sounding like it’s already been said.
LikeLike
Seriously? That’s a great compliment. You’re the poet I admire and your opinion means a lot. I had no plan to write about refugees but the words just felt right. I had written already but not a poem ;-).
You just put a giant smile on my face. I can go to bed! Lol
Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your take on chiasmus is great! You put it too rhyme too? And a very touching story to top it off. No doubt about it: this is a good poem. Well done!
LikeLike
Oh dear, you make me jump up and down. Thank you so much. I had a hard time trying this one and changed it zillion times. Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the humanity breaking lines! This is really awesome!
LikeLike
Thank you so much! Appreciate it!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Way to put into words what is happening. Stepping into the shoes of others, I can only imagine what it feels like to leave all behind. Absolutely eye tearing stuff Lucile!
Keep going! You’re a real poet my dear!
LikeLike
Nilla, you’re so considerate. I’m truly honored and grateful for your comment for you’re a real poet whereas I’m just giving it a try and feeling unease. Not sure if I’ll continue after the course. Nevertheless, your encouragement means a lot. Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really think you should continue, you are a natural Lucile! As for myself, I just love to put my minds flow “on to paper” and call it poetry 😉 Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but it feels good, which is the most important thing for me. So please, do continue!
LikeLike
I know what you mean and that’s how I like to write, but the style is not exactly poetry but free writing.
Learning it now may create some appetite. Who knows? Thanks much for the support.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice work, I enjoyed it, and important topic.
LikeLike
Thanks Alexander, I appreciate your comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lucile, I had exactly the same image in my mind as I read your fabulous poem… What a powerful and meaningful poem… That you for sharing with us!
LikeLike
Why thank you!
You are too kind!
Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very nice!!!
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the lines about dreamland! You did make chiasmus work! Good job! Such a deep subject matter too! Very moving! That’s a lot of exclamation marks, but I meant it.
LikeLike
Terri, heartfelt thanks for your considerate comment, including the exclamation marks! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
!!!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. You made this! I love this idea of found poetry but I had no idea that was what you had done until the end. Excellent work, you are certainly finding your poetic feet my dear X.
LikeLike
I struggled to make it work somehow, and haven’t really done all using chiasmus but that’s ok. My poetic feet might be numb by now !!lol
Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL love that X.
LikeLike
🐳🐩
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂😂 🌈🐩🐳
LikeLike
Like it
LikeLike
Thank you! 😀
LikeLike
You joined the poetry 201 as well?!! Awesome.
I like the rhyming endings and the use of almost same words in different order to convey a deeper meaning. I am not a poet and not much of a poetry admirer, but i like these kinds of things in a poetry
LikeLike
Are you there?? I haven’t seen your poetry yet!
I’m not a poet either and joined the course to learn it because when studying English, as a foreigner, the focus was on grammar and not literature.
Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, I am not there. I dont think I want to be a poet 😉
Indeed, except if you are studying for English Literature, no one cares about it 😀
LikeLike
I don’t want to be either but like to learn new things.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yea, it is good to learn new things 🙂
LikeLike
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice one, Lucile….I had no idea you were writing poetry, too!
LikeLike
Thanks Sue! I think I had no idea of what I was doing when I registered! 😉 well, I’m having fun learning about poetry as I’m not a poet and takes the pressure away.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh this is so moving! You have voiced the struggles of the refugees that have been victim of wars. Hands down!
LikeLike
Thank you so much, I truly appreciate your consideration.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 Just stating facts, Lucile!
LikeLike
You’re very kind.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
A moving piece. It’s a good talent for a writer to have – to put yourself in others; aces. You’re good at it.
LikeLike
Thank you so much!! I’m grateful and overwhelmed by your comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice poem about a sad story. I hope it all has a happy ending.
LikeLike
Thanks, Deborah. I’m afraid it’s taking too long and taking a totally dangerous direction with Russia involvement.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes things have escalated. I have been watching the news as well. It takes time for all this to resolve. If we think back to WWII I think there were many refugees and it took time.
LikeLike
Very true. We cannot despair. What worries me now the most is the reaction of Europeans citizens, who are becoming increasingly contrarian to the idea of helping refugees. I’ve seen stupid things happening here in Holland. Even the government is not united on the subject. People are losing interest and not helping.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think we forget things so fast these days. Our attention spans are very short. We have a lot of controversy here with immigrants. Like your poem says, it has to do with fear. I do think governments could do more by taking the lead.
LikeLike
Very true. Too fast. Politicians listen to their voters and not to what’s the right thing to do. And if they’re afraid, we know what’s going to happen next.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope good will prevail. ❤
LikeLike
I hope so too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was so very powerful – your chiasmus were extremely profound! Way to go Lucile! xx
LikeLike
Hey, Hayley! Now it’s my turn to blush. Thank you so much! Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re very welcome 🙂 it was great xx
LikeLike
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person