Day Twelve: Dark Clouds on the (Virtual) Horizon
Today’s Prompt: Write a post inspired by a real-world conversation.
We don’t write in a bubble — we write in the world, and what we say is influenced by our experiences. Today, take a cue from something you’ve overheard and write a post inspired by a real-life conversation. Revisit a time when you wish you’d spoken up, reminisce about an important conversation that will always stick with you, or tune in to a conversation happening around you right now and write your reaction.
Take time to listen — to what you hear around you, or what your memories stir up.
I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.
– Ernest Hemingway
Today’s twist: include an element of foreshadowing in the beginning of your post.
As the door opens, and we are welcome by our friend Dani, her younger son asks anxiously: “where are your kids?”
Dani asks the boy to go back playing with the other kids, and we follow her to meet the other guests.
There are several young couples in the room, many kids and a cute baby. Some of them we met one year before to celebrate Dani’s and her eldest son’s birthday.
After the round of greetings, I chatted with a woman I met before. As the conversation was short-lived, I talked briefly to a few more people, as we couldn’t stay longer. We had to go to another party.
I waved from distance to my husband, signaling that time was almost up. While waiting for him, I overheard a conversation of a couple standing beside me.
“I forgot to tell you what our son did yesterday. I was very embarrassed.”, said the woman. “When walking by my side, Luca said to a man who walked on the opposite side, that he looked like a monkey! Can you believe that?, she asks her husband.
He laughs profusely and says: “He is just a child”.
“I know he’s a child, and that is why he cannot behave like that, as people will hold us responsible for his bad manners.”, says the woman.
The father answers with an irritated voice: “He is a child. He is only five. It is ok.”
“You should have seen the expression of surprise of that poor man. He may have thought the kid repeated my words.! Luca shouldn’t do that again. I disagree with you”, insists the mother.
“That is what children do, they speak the truth. Let him be himself”, shrugged the father.
Very early on, some parents repress kids ability to express themselves naturally, in the name of good manners. There is a fine line between manners and voicing open and honest opinions. Crossing the line is a subtle action, one that carries a heavy weight on the shoulders. In this way, children lose their pure and innocent way of speaking.
I have been, like many of you, one of these kids. I remember upsetting my sister when saying to one of my friends from school that my sister didn’t like her. Well, I was 6 years old. My parents say that I always expressed my opinions without fear, even though I was a shy kid.
After spending my adolescence playing the ungracious battle, father x daughter, I somehow toned down my approach. A rigid Catholic education has also played a huge influence on repressing my natural instinct to speak up in public.
I remember several occasions when I swallowed my questions or opinions, ashamed of speaking in public. It took me some years to open up again. Being a shy person, might have lengthened the ‘recovery’ process.
Eventually, my spontaneous drive to voice my opinions, and say the truth, no matter what, struck back. I know that sometimes I pay a huge price for that, as most often people tell me they would rather not hear about the raw and crude reality of facts, but believe their own stories.
That does not make me popular. But my values do not include running for a popularity contest.
Let me make clear that I am not defending to offend and insult people. One can be honest with sweetest words. The truth should be packaged and delivered with respect and dignity. Let’s not mix bad format with good content.
The kid who greeted us at the door, was visibly upset because we arrived without kids to play with him. His mother’s reaction denoted embarrassment for his honest remark towards us and she shortly cut him off, pointing out his “mistake”.
Isn’t that bizarre to judge the truth as insulting and teach kids to lie? What do you think?
Well done:) really enjoyed reading it…so true about being judgemental!
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Thank you, Julia! I’m glad you enjoyed reading it.
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Beautiful photo and wonderful words. I am glad that you no longer silence yourself .
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Thank you, Lisa. I think people now wish I could shut up! Better this way.
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😄
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“Let’s not mix bad format with good content.”
That is perfect! I used to be like that as well, keeping my opinions to myself and not speaking up very much but I’m not like that at all now. I’m not sure what the switch was but I’m so glad I made it. Much happier when you aren’t worrying about everything you say!!! Xx
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Absolutely is a better place to be than measuring our words!
Thank you so much my friend.
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Well, who would be offended by children? I certainly wouldn’t, even if it’s often unpleasant to hear the truth they see…
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Well, I agree, but maybe some people do!
Thanks for commenting, Mara.
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Great read~ The innocence of children is something we can all learn from. Sadly, that innocence is often short lived. Whether it be their speech or just their general joy in the simple things in life we can take a page out of their book 🙂
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Thanks, Schuttzie.
Unfortunately, you are right.
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We teach kids social rules, which can range from maintaining hygiene or holding their tongue when they have a controversial opinion. Perhaps it’s teach lying, but it’s also explaining to them how to best function in our society.
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What is considered ‘controversial opinion’?
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I mean that the expression of the opinion is controversial, not necessarily the opinion itself.
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Got it! Thanks.
It is very cultural dependent.
Here in Hollland, speaking up is welcome and encouraged. It is a very direct culture which shocks most foreigners not used to hearing raw opinions.
Sometimes, I feel that it is just plain bad manners to say whatever you want, even if people are not asking for an opinion.
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I’m pretty sure that I have had a child or two tell me I look like a monkey. I took it as they were feeling angry and took it out on me by calling me a monkey. I never took it to heart. I think children should be taught the social graces of our societies otherwise they will have difficult time with relationships in the future.
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I do hope parents find the right balance. Thanks.
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I totally agree. This is a great post; thoughtful and really well written. I enjoyed reading it — and not only because I agree with you. 🙂
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Thank you so much, Su. You are a mother, and your opinion means a lot, as you speak from experience.
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Interesting question. I think we have to find the balance from letting kids express their feelings or opinions and teaching them to be sensitive to the feelings of others.
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Indeed, Deborah. And that is not an easy task for parents and educators.
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