Serially Lost: Part One

writing-101

 

Day Four: Serially Lost

Today’s Prompt: Write about a loss: something (or someone) that was part of your life, and isn’t any more.

Today’s twist: Make today’s post the first in a three-post series.

I knew loss existed… but arrogantly believed that it would not happen to me.

I saw the possibility of loss… My risk taking and fearless spirit guided me ahead at full steam.

I smelt loss…My pride told me there was no trade-off.

I touched loss… My anger washed me right to the center of it.

I felt loss… Loss arrived and penetrated every inch of my existence.

Arrogance saw it happening in front of my eyes.

Risk taking became fear and paralyzed me.

Pride was replaced by insecurity and doubts on my self-worth.

Anger was taken over by disempowerment and humiliation took me over.

I felt the ground disappear. Certainty left me alone. Identity was no more. Purpose was gone. Shame covered me from head to toes. Bitterness was the only taste.

I had no intention to write today about the experience of losing someone or something. I have been there. I have seen it. I have done it to others and others have done it to me.

They are not more difficult, more tragic, sad, or worse losses than what other people experienced. If I put it into perspective, I have seen people go through much worse situations that the ones I have.

I have lost many valuable things and a few people in life. I felt bad about it, suffered, learnt more about others and myself and moved on. Then something more happened and I have gone through them in different stages of my life.

I divorced. I lost a job. I lost a brother to cancer.

These three losses though, have been fundamental life-changing experiences, which triggered an in-depth personal transformation process, which largely provided the ingredients to compose the colors and texture of the fabric I am made of.

I will not go into details describing what, how, when, why, these events happened. Not because I can’t. Not because it still hurts. It is because I learnt that sharing tough personal experiences is more difficult to those who want to hear (or not) than to those who talk about it.

Those who had loss once impregnated in each pore of the body know well its bitter taste as well as the smell of death. We may not want to resurrect it.

There was a time I wanted to share it with everyone, because I needed love and support, a warm shoulder, a safe harbor. I have had it all and that’s why I am here to tell my story.

There was a time that I wanted to softly remember and even laugh about it. I passed through the storm and the eye of my hurricanes-losses. I can talk about that with peace in my heart. No fear, no shame.

Recounting these stories now would only serve the purpose of sharing lessons learned, which may, or not, help others in the same situation.

I will leave you with one strong believe though. I will lose again. It is a normal part of life.

We suffer more because we grow up believing that life is perfect and we spend time and effort striving to find perfection. We cannot lose anything or we feel like the world ended.

This is an illusion. We are born, we grow up, and we die. All. of. us. No exception. No VIP treatment. No perks.

We may or not be born healthy. We will get a light or serious disease. No escape.

We will have friends. Or not. We will fall in love. We will not love anymore. We will be dumped. We will dump others. We will break up. We will love again. We will date. We will marry. Or not. We will divorce. And the world continues its course as ever.

We will go to School. Maybe even to the University. We may be an artist instead of having a mainstream job. We will have a profession. We will have jobs. We will lose jobs. And we will restart again.

We will have a family. Or not. We will have a house. We will travel. Or maybe not. We may have money. Or maybe not.

This list can go endlessly. I just wanted to tell you that loss is ok. Loss is part and parcel of our very existence. Acceptance is the only compass to find our way out of loss.

Once you have gone through it, saw it in the eye, and faced it, you accept it. And only then you can recover and find yourself again.

You may even reinvent yourself.

But I have not forgotten to share the lessons…to be continued.

Posted by

Sharing sights & insights captured with diverse angles. Ex-corporate slave, now my own boss. Cycling, hiking, cooking, reading, yoga, writing and photography, are no longer only hobbies listed on my resume. It's what I do, when I want.

40 thoughts on “Serially Lost: Part One

  1. I am almost lost for words. Your style in this post is quite different. I could feel your emotions as you go through each stage, like the stages of grief that they talk about. It’s a powerful piece. You’re right, while loss is horrific and painful, it’s how you deal with it that shapes the person you become. You have worked through yours and come out the other side as a positive force, with a no-marketing approach that I love, and a deep appreciation for friendships and family and those ties that bind. So fresh 😉
    This post is inspiring. Xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was lost for words the whole day and had almost given up day 4.
      It feels different indeed; and I felt too while writing it.
      I think it was good though, as it served as a reexamination of my losses and gains in the last years.
      You made an accurate observation about the phases of grief, which is truly what I went through.
      And may even go again as the cycle of life continues.
      Thank you so much for reading and for your generous and considerate words. Super fresh, as always. 😉
      Xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I echoe what desleyjane says entirely. You make one feel more confident to ride the wave of loss. We exist but also must learn to live through all of life’s trials and tribulations and embrace what we learn and end richer textures now weaved in to our lives. Thank you for sharing and you wrote this beautifully x

    Like

  3. Your take on loss is one that I have tried to ingrain into my children’s minds. I agree with @desleyjane that your style for this post in unique from what I’ve seen. Thank you for sharing it with the world.

    Like

    1. It is rewarding to read your considerate comment. My intention is to share what can be useful to others instead of just remembering (and honoring) the past. If my words serve any purpose to you, I am very happy.
      Thank much for visiting the blog. I appreciated it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Lucile, I can barely come up with words to describe what I read. You have painted the picture of life into a nutshell and laid bare so many emotions. As everyone is saying, this style is different, but you have let us take a peek at your soul in your quest for accepting loss. Your “matter-of-fact” and clinical approach to the subject of loss is really fascinating to read. Such incredibly wise words, my dear friend!!
    I was thinking how this could be made into a wonderful pictographic to help people.

    Like

    1. Terri, I am grateful and humbled by your comments.
      Your words are full of consideration and empathy, and your observations of my approach are very accurate.
      If you have any idea on how to make a pictographic, I would be happy to make one and share with whomever is interested.
      Here we are, the consultants, seeing eye to eye. How wonderful.
      Heartfelt thanks dear.
      And have a lovely weekend. I am sure you will make me jealous with photos of a glorious windsurfing day. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Great writing Lucile! I am very impressed with your writing and how well you convey your emotions through the written word. It was all very honest and upfront. We all do experience loss – that is a given. I will be honest and tell you I was more excited about you telling us about your loss. I am so sorry about your brother Lucile. That had to be very painful. I guess what I am saying, I understand and know all the emotions. I want to know more about you as a person and as a friend. Does that make sense? I am never sure if I convey what I am trying to say.

    Like

    1. Thank you for reading and appreciating it. I am also grateful for the encouragement and honesty. That’s what this comments section is for. The real value of this dialogue is to speak honestly, learn, and help each other. And you made perfect sense and conveyed well your message.
      I write quite openly here. I use my own name, I write true stories about my life, and give my honest opinion and views. I do hope that helps you and those who read the blog to know me as I am.
      It is ok that you wanted to know the details. I didn’t bring it though, because it is not important anymore. The past is gone and just the good memories and lessons stay alive. From all my losses, my brother’s was the most difficult of all, but even there had to exist acceptance because he suffered too much while alive.
      Thank you for your lovely and friendly words. I truly liked it.
      Warm regards,
      Lucile

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your kind note. I figured it was your brother that was the most difficult for you to talk about. Forgive me if I came across too nosey or pushy, I don’t mean to be. I know for me that it helps me to talk about things where I know it is safe and I won’t be judged or ridiculed. I have written about things here on WP that I didn’t even talk to my psychiatrist about so I know this is a safe and non-judgmental environment. I think everyone feels as I do. We are all here to help each other be better as well as ourselves. I totally understand when you said that it is in the past and needs to stay there. I respect that. Thank you for letting me know.

        Like

        1. Actually it is not difficult to talk about my brother, and I have twice written posts about him. What’s difficult is his absence.
          Please don’t think you have been anything but friendly, supportive, caring and considerate.
          I do agree that there is a great supportive community here.
          I’ll be back with serial loss 2 and 3; there the developments will become clearer. Bear with me!
          Thank you so much again.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. You da man. This is just one powerful piece of writing, with a bit of wit, a pound of experience, a bunch of wisdom, a touch of class. I read this actually wanting to know the details, but it’s so strong because it doesn’t give those details, it’s more universal…to the rest of us who have been there.

    Like

    1. That is a very good recipe for writing a good piece! And I loved your encouraging comment. Exactly, the details are irrelevant. The past is just a reference and what stays are just the lessons. Besides, I strongly believe that when we keep talking about the past, we don’t let it go, we keep it alive.
      Thank you so much!

      Like

        1. There is a theory that women are multitasking experts. I don’t know if that is true…but I do my best to do well all the things I like.
          I actually started this blog not intending to focus on photography, though I always used photos for every post. That changed fast when I joined in the Photo101 course and the rest is history. I posted more photos than wrote here. Now I am following the writing course. So, let’s see what’s next.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Yeah, I know what you mean. The blog I had in my head before I started to actually write posts is not the blog my blog has morphed itself into. I guess we’ll both just wait and see what appears next!

            Like

    1. Oh dear, sorry if I made you feel like that. I did my best to remove sadness from this post and to present just the factual and naked truth. What was indeed a bit tough to achieve.
      Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This is excellent – this in particular ” I will lose again. It is a normal part of life”

    You write so well and share so much that is so relevant. I also like the way you point out that sharing sometimes hurts those with whom we share, something I need to think about more than I do.

    Like

    1. Thanks again for your considerate and insightful comments, Andy.
      This is what I experienced with the people I know, but I cannot say that it is applicable to everyone. Nevertheless, when in doubt, I rather not share.

      Liked by 1 person

What do you think? I'd love to hear it all.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s